Games, Books and Loki

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brain itches Theme by Adam Holwerda.

25 years wasted

What does it mean to exist? Can anyone tell me how we got here or what it means that we are here? I ask people these questions and I either get blank looks or someone tells me about science or God. Never those two together. What if the true span of existence is vast and chaotic and this tiny corner we inhabit was given structure for us? Think about it, the universe has structure. Everything happens for a reason and we are always trying to find those reasons. But what if it has rules because someone gave it rules? Imagine a being which exists apart from the chaos. An intelligent being of light and energy, one which seeks structure instead of disorder. Imagine such a being, wondering what it would be like to not be all powerful, to be limited. How would this being accomplish their quest for this knowledge? Perhaps it will create a place to study these things, a place with rules, set controlled variables to better illustrate the findings of this experiment. Now as any all powerful being would know, it is better to have several different experiments running before you can isolate the outcome you hope to achieve. Perhaps a billion? Maybe six? Or eventually sixty billion?

We will let that cook for a while, now let’s hop over to another burner. God is in each of us, this we are told. What you think God is does not matter. Be it holy light, or love, or energy or a man’s imagination, or a soul or simply blood. Something makes us different. All animals have had to exist on this planet and yet we are the only ones who can think objectively or wonder or perceive and imagine things not readily apparent to us. Evolution? Why us and nothing else? Unless we were given that little bit extra? A soul? Tao?

An artist must work hard at his skill, practicing and honing their craft until they reach a level when they can create a masterpiece. If something designed the human body, would you not consider it a masterpiece? Crystals are beautiful, but they are not living.

Consider this; do you not prepare for a child by making their home as safe as possible? Would not God do the same for us? There is something within us that enables us to make choices about our lives. There are monks who can actually control their heart rate by will alone. Why? Merlin….Atlantis, tales of sorcery and magic. Could they all just be imagined? Or perhaps in our obsession with the materialistic aspects of today’s culture, perhaps we have lost the ability to harness what makes us different. In all I have read about magic and sorcery, one common thread ties it all together; willpower. Mind over matter. Can we control the world around us with our focused will? Native Americans seemed to think so, and could people be so foolish to follow a shaman who never delivered? I doubt it.

Sure, I don’t know the answers. Maybe never will, but are you even looking? Or perhaps you feel like you have more important things to worry about? Fool. What can be more important than your spiritual mission? Money? Cars? Women? What good are women in hades? Do you think you can drive around in hell? Or maybe bribe Lucifer? No friend, hell is chaos, the void, it is where the soul you are meant to teach and strengthen goes when instead of enlightening yourself and spreading positive energy you wasted your life in ignorance and meaningless pursuits of material possessions.

25 years I have stared at my feet, afraid to trip and fall and never did I look up to make sure I was going in the right direction. How many of us ask these questions on our death beds? You look back and realize you never really got anywhere. The journey takes place inside. With knowledge comes power, seek it out!

Nightmare Notes

We were in a strange industrialized area, where nuclear power plants and apartment complexes were right next to each other.  There was a huge tank driving down the street and our female engineer friend (?) somehow shorted out some generators on the nuclear power plant to cause an EMP and disable the tank.  No people got out of it. (automated?)

future tank

We made our way into the large brick apartment building across the street.  It was about eight stories high and the bottom two were a huge open space.  A parking garage area i think, one which was wide open except for the pillars supporting the building.  There were people working on things in there.  Some working on Mad Max like cars.  All of the people looked like they were engineers and mechanics who had been taken from working at the plant next door.  I remember one woman was an Asian woman wearing a navy blue pair of coveralls.

apartments

Mad Max car

Somehow we snuck up into the apartments.  In the dream I was debating what our next move would be, and it seemed that whatever had happened to the world had JUST happened but for the life of me I cannot recall what that was.  We were in this apartment, my wife and I were.  It was almost completely white.  Walls, bed linens, tables and chairs…..very clean and immaculate. I was saying we should use our phones and GPS on them to find an area which was far away from civilization before the satellites no longer functioned.  But this would mean that we had to go back out into this city or whatever it was we were in.

white apartment

I looked out of the window, one which faced the street we had just come in from and the tank was gone, but I saw a weird yellow or red mustang, whose back was way up in the air like in some cartoon where they jacked up the body but the axel stayed on the ground.  For some reason it was driving backwards out of the garage and onto the street.  I also saw a couple of brown Humvees pull up and saw a bunch of people get out with guns and weird purple and silver one piece shiny looking nylon suits. They strongly resembled wet suits that surfers might wear during a tournament complete with what I remember as the motocross Thor emblem on their chest.  I was afraid, but then I also noticed a filming crew and I realized that these people were actors or something and I felt better.  Soon though, the camera crew left and the people started taking off those suits and organizing themselves in a militaristic fashion. Suddenly I was afraid again because I got a bad feeling about their intentions as they pointed up at the apartments. One woman seemed to be in charge, she looked like Kristin from Big Brother.

thor apparel symbol

purple wet suit

These people, now wearing mostly white undershirts and jeans were searching the apartments.  I did not stop and look to see what they were doing with people, I was worried about what to do with my pregnant wife.  I took a chance and reasoned that since we were on the fifth floor, I had time to look in the apartments around us.  I remember walking into a room, white like ours (I think they all looked like this, all white even though the layouts were the same.  It had a very THX1138 feel to it.) and there were two people in a bed.  Enzo from Big Brother and who I at first thought was my ex girlfriend from years ago (well at first it definitely WAS her, but like dreams do, her identity changed later on).  I remember thinking, “Who would be having sex at a time like this?” and then I realized that given the circumstances, why not? So I think I told these two what was happening outside and warned them to be cooperative because I did not think these people would hurt us if we did.  

the lovers' bed

I went back to the apartment me and Rachel (my wife) were in.  Soon I grew impatient and opened the apartment door just as a black man in a plain white undershirt and a cowboy hat was coming down (?) the stairs. When he saw me he stopped and turned around slowly and went back upstairs.  I guess the door I opened was not the door to the hallway outside our apartment, and the stairs were actually just inside the door from the hallway into our apartment.

White stairs

When he left our apartment and closed the door to the hall way outside it, (I somehow saw in the dream, even though I was inside and he was outside) he placed a strange looking white plaster head, which was flat on the back.  Like a wall sculpture or something, only this one was the size of a soda can. The man in the cowboy hat placed it on that metal piece that is like a ramp for the door under it, and he slid it into the left side with the flat back part against the frame of the door.  This strange white plaster head looked around (just like the demon doors in Fable 2 do) and then it seemed to fuse itself with the wood and somehow it also made the door MELT (?) into the frame so that the all became one piece. It basically sealed us in our apartment by merging the wall and the door together.

demon door

To Rachel

My love…thinking of you fills my heart with such joy! Such reckless, abundant happiness! How blessed I am, to love such an angel as you! So eternally favored by fate, to bask in the radiance of your sweet affections. Great poets have sung in praise of beauty unmeasured, and of wild untamed passions, but all these bright things are drab when compared to you. Your smile shines so brightly, that I am blinded and cannot see the clouds on the horizon or the mistakes which lay behind me. All my thoughts are scattered and diminished in my awe and I am left speechless……..the only words my dumbstruck mouth can utter, “I love you.”

Jesus the Navigator

Darkness. That indefinite substance of mystery and fear, unexplained shadows lingering on the periphery of your vision. We are but fleeting forms blocking out the light of day and spoiling the Earth with our darkness. That stain of misdeeds and tragedies, a stark reminder that our mistakes and sins are passed on to our progeny and descendants.

The absence of light. Nothing, never, chaos, a void in the fabric of space. The high vaulted ceilings, whose points are but a distant glimmer, trap us and lock us in these earthly prison.

How I long to transcend this fleshy shell and explore the vastness of reality with Jesus as my copilot. Me and my best friend, burning like torches in the night, to drive out the darkness. Bouncing from planet to planet, dimension to dimension, sharing our light with the blob men and the fish dudes. Oh what a wondrous existence! Pure exploration of the mind and soul! Who needs a body? Energy is our essence and electric is our soul! Burn brightly my dim friends, lest the darkness consume your flame!

Our bodies are the wetsuit and this earth is merely the reef! Hermes, Moses, Thoth, they had it right! Stop looking at your feet and see the clues all around you!

Our souls are inter-dimensional travelers, sent here to learn a lesson. What is that lesson? That the “physical” is nothing to dwell on. That religion is the misinterpretation of the truth by scheming minds mostly focused on money and greed. Do you like to be loved? Is there ever any bad that comes from love? Not the love of things, but the love of your fellow researchers on this rock.

Dude, be true.

View of hot air balloons in Middletown. Taken from Wasau Paper.

View of hot air balloons in Middletown. Taken from Wasau Paper.

Do you think pc gaming is dying?

Do you think pc gaming is dying?

World Building



So a few friends and I have been working on a game world.  

We don’t have a platform in mind, nor do we have a working engine yet.

What we do have are ideas.  Story, characters, mechanics, history and setting.

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